You might use a contraption called the SifterBoyDeLux (for cleaning pig pens) or the MiiVOXmax (for God only knows). As a protagonist of one of them, you might take the drugs Darkenfloxx or VeriTalk or KnightLyfe, which, unsurprisingly, makes you think and act like a medieval knight.
His stories are littered with the verbiage of the 21st century. But it sounds persuasive as Alison's inner monologue. The bad grammar ("long before such time as being gay"), the misused vocabulary ("conceptual") and the lowbrow ("amazing," "awesome," "gosh")-this might as well be a guide of how not to write. She, Alison, could not hope to compete in the category of those ladies. Roosevelt was quite chipper in spite of her husband, who was handicapped, which, in addition, she had been gay, with those big old teeth, long before such time as being gay and First Lady was even conceptual. Helen Keller had been awesome Mother Teresa was amazing Mrs. In the history of the world, many had been more special than her.
Was she special? Did she consider herself special? Oh, gosh, she didn't know. For example, here's Saunders in the head of a teenage girl: He has a real knack for voice, and an ear for the tortured, slapdash language of everyday life.
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